Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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