yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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