Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
