i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
