Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize