You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
