You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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