I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize