I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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