u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
