Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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