i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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