My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
false alarm, still single
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
