They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
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there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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