i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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