he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
