He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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