You can't motorboat a personality
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
