He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
