I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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