return my video game
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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