every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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