he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
