We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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