Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
