Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
