We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
