she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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