Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
