That's intense
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
