All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
