He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
