dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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