Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
