I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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