I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
