You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
