A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this will be a night to untag.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
