she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
