Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
