Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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