you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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