maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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