Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
jump out the window naked night went bad
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