I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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