that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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