Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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