I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
