i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize