Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize