I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize