Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
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