no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
