i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize