I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im six kinds of drunk right now
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
