State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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