So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize