At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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