I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
