Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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