Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
