I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
