Sry I called you an 8
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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