think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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