Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
