there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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