It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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