I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
