yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
